Lara Croft: Tomb Raider

Rating: start

Lara CroftI rented this film (and I used the term loosely) because of some deep seated need for some mindless entertainment. However, the inanity of this monstrosity is too great to satisfy even that small need.

The plot of this movie is really inconsequential, and I mean really inconsequential. Nominally, the story revolves around Lara Croft (Angelina Jolie) an Indiana Jones style archeologist and English nobility posing as a photojournalist. Her father (Jon Voight) died and left her a key to a secret triangle that unlocks the power to control time. Stolen by a secret group called the Illuminati, she travels around the world to stop the fiendish plan. Oh yeah, and there is love, reunion and nudity along the way.

I really don’t know how to describe how bad this movie is. The acting is flat, the plot has enormous gaping holes in it and the writing is downright laughable. The entire film revolves around showing Miss Jolie in as revealing outfits as possible and forgets everything else. I think I can put it this way; an episode of Baywatch would be more edifying and certainly more honest about its intent. Hell, even David Hasselhoff’s acting would have improved this movie.

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