Computer Language Quotes

My colleague Peter and I have been swapping computer jokes/quotes this afternoon and here are the highpoints:

There are two types of programming languages; the ones that people bitch about and the ones that no one uses.
-Bjarne Stroustrup

If I were chained to a bench and ‘perl’ was the only thing that could open the lock, I’d probably cut my hand off.
-Gerald Penn

In C we had to code our own bugs. In C++ we can inherit them.

C gives you enough rope to hang yourself. C++ also gives you the tree object to tie it to.

PASCAL: Programmers Against Structured Code And Language

“Microsoft Products are Generally Bug Free”
-Bill Gates

“Real men don’t use backups, they post their stuff on a public ftp server and let the rest of the world make copies.”
– Linus T.

“Extreme Programming is a only hit with the MTV generation because most have attention span of a humming bird on methamphetamines.”

Java is in many ways……well……….C++

“The key to understanding recursion is to begin by understanding recursion. The rest is easy.”
— Koenig/Moo, Accelerated C++

There are 10 types of people in the world; those who know binary and those who don’t.

How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one……..but it takes him all night, and in the morning the refrigerator and the toilet are broken.

A surgeon, a civil engineer and a software engineer were chatting at a bar. The discussion rolled around to whose profession was the oldest. The surgeon said that his was, since in the book of Genesis, God created Eve from one of Adam’s ribs, and surly that involved surgery. The civil engineer countered by saying that before God created man, he created the heavens and the Earth from chaos, surly a feat of civil engineering. The software engineer just smiled and said “Where do you think the chaos came from?

And Finally . . .

“Linux is only free if your time is worthless.”

[Listening to: Rush Limbaugh 8 – Premiere Radio Networks – (11:00)]

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