A little bit of Redneck humor . . .
You’ll Know Yours Is A Redneck Church If:
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The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
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People ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch ’em.
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When the pastor says, “I’d like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,” five guys and two women stand up.
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Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
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A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive Ford truck because “It ain’t never been in a hole it couldn’t get out of.”
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The choir is known as the “OK Chorale.”
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Boone’s Farm “Tickle Pink” is the favorite wine for communion.
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In a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the church directory.
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Baptism is referred to as “branding.”
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There is a special fund raiser for a new church septic tank.
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Finding and returning lost sheep isn’t just a parable.
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High notes on the organ set the dogs on the floor to howling.
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People think “rapture” is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
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The baptismal font is a #2 galvanized washtub.
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The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo) from Billy Bob’s Barbecue.
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The collection plates are really hub caps from a ‘56 Chevy.